Remakes are usually a waste of time. "Psycho"
was absolutely dreadful -- why in the world would
director Gus Van Sant want Norman Bates to masturbate in
the film? Did he think Hitchcock just forgot to
leave that scene in? Rule of thumb -- just don't
remake a classic -- and "The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre" is as close to a classic as anyone is
going to get. The original was a terrifying
experience and one of the all-time bone chillers -- it
still creeps me out. The new is just as
terrifying, just as gory, and has the advantage of a
lot more cash.
The film centers around five friends (Jessica Biel,
Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Eric
Balfour) who are on their way back from some drug
smuggling in Mexico, when they pick up a scary looking
hitchhiker. When the hitcher shoots herself in
their van, they find themselves seeking help in an
overly shallow part of the gene pool community in Texas,
where they eventually stumble upon an overzealous
sheriff (R. Lee Ermey) and a chainsaw wielding madman
named Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski). Carnage ensues
and Jessica Biel must fight for her life to escape
Leatherface and his twisted kin. So, with some
exceptions, the plot to this film is, basically, the
same plot as the first film. And, the
differences...
Well, for starters, they are smuggling drugs across the
border in a piņata. Secondly, the hitchhiker is a
girl, and she blows her head off in the first ten
minutes. There is no annoying brother in a
wheelchair, there is no two hundred year old grandpa,
and there is no room filled with chicken feathers and
animal bones. Instead, we have an old man in a
wheelchair, a creepy little boy with jagged little teeth
(David Dorfman - kid from "The Ring"), and
more original thrills and chills than from any other
film this year.
This film was a roller coaster ride from beginning to
end, from the first body on the hook to the last scene
of chainsaw against steel. Leatherface is seen as
more of a butcher in this film and is much more of a
sinister and powerful villain -- he is just as fast as
his victims and seems like much more of a physical
threat. Also, R. Lee Ermey has a blast with his
role, walking the line between absurdity and just plain
old psychotic bliss. The cinematography is
mesmerizing and adds so much to the overall horror of
the film, and Jessica Biel proves that her "Seventh
Heaven" days are long gone.
Director Marcus Nispel has turned one of the best horror
films of all-time into -- well -- another of the best
horror films of all-time. This one is faster,
louder, bloodier, and more engrossing than the original.
I will admit that the same shock value is not there, but
I can honestly say everyone in the theatre was holding
on to their seats for dear life every time that chainsaw
was cranked. I was not expecting to enjoy this
film as much as I did, and that surprised me in a good
way. It is rare when a remake is almost better
than the original, but I still cannot say it is better
because of the lacking shock value. The actors in
the first film did not seem like actors -- it seemed
like it could have been live footage. Here, we
know they are actors, but it just doesn't matter when
Leatherface is dropping them onto a hook -- that would
hurt anybody. Bravo to the filmmakers, cast, and
everyone involved with an unbelievably good remake of a
classic horror film.
