The following statement is probably grounds for execution among
the film buff community, but I love Steven Seagal movies.
I loved "Hard to Kill," I loved the "Under
Siege" movies and I even loved his last film "Exit
Wounds"--which many people bashed. So naturally, I
was really looking forward to "Half Past Dead."
Seagal
plays a car thief who gets sent to the slammer along with his
partner in crime, played by rapper Ja Rule. But this isn't
any ordinary slammer. This is "The New Alcatraz."
Of course, that doesn't stop a gang of high-tech thieves from
breaking in. Their reason for breaking INTO the prison is
to retrieve valuable information from a prisoner who's
about to be executed in a couple minutes.
The
thieves, led by Morris Chestnut, shut down the electricity, pump
bulletholes into every security guard and try to retrieve this
information from the prisoner at gunpoint. What is this
information? The whereabouts of millions of dollars in
gold bricks, which he kept stashed away in a secret location.
The thieves hold people hostage and kill virtually every
innocent person in sight, the prisoners break out and get their
hands on some heavy artillery, and the body count rises by the
minute.
Sure,
the plot doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. But are
you really concerned about plot when watching a Steven Seagal
flick? The film delivers more than its quota of fast-paced
action, but I wasn't as engaged as I thought I'd be. Maybe
that's because the writer-director, who I'm guessing is a
first-time director, delivers the action in the style of a music
video. And I wouldn't be surprised if the director's only
previous experience is directing music videos (i.e.: McG
of "Charlie's Angels" fame). I wasn't counting,
but I bet if I did I would find 60 or more cuts in
each action sequence. That, and the fact that most of
the scenes are darkly lit, kind of took me out of the action.
Some of the scenes are nearly incomprehensible, and I had a hard
time keeping track of who's dead and who's not.
Nevertheless, I wasn't bored. It's hard to find a
dull moment in "Half Past Dead." I loved the
soundtrack, especially Ja Rule's popular track which was used
several times throughout the film. So many times in
trailers they play a really cool track that you assume will
be included in the film, but when you finally watch it the track
never comes up. Well, at least this time I wasn't
disappointed. The only problem is the film is PG-13, so
every time the "MF" word came up in the chorus, it had
to be bleeped. Ja Rule himself doesn't prove he has what
it takes to be an actor, but he has charisma. Hopefully,
he'll receive acting lessons sometime soon and he'll actually
become one of the few rapper-turned-actors who can ACT.
He definitely has screen presence and definitely has potential.
Then again, he was working opposite Steven Seagal, so it's not
like he was feeding off a great actor. Hey, I love Seagal
as an action star, but he's no DeNiro.
"Half Past Dead" is a fine guilty pleasure, but it's
the one waiting for you on video. I just hope Seagal's
next film will be much better. No matter how old he
is, I'm still gonna stick by him. Hell, he's a much better
action star than Vin Diesel, and Vin's half his age. And
as far acting talent goes, at least Seagal has SOME expression.
He's an oldie, but a goodie.
