The Popkorn Junkie :: Master of Disguise

Okay, to fully enjoy this movie one must either be brain-dead or 7 years old. This movie stinks. You see, this is a "moment" movie. It's just made up a handful (some really small hand at that) of funny scenes. Actually, the only pure hilarious scene is the "turtle club" scene, but unfortunately, most of which was shown in the trailers. Ugh.

Why do they do this? This pisses me off. If it were my movie, I wouldn't show any thing in the trailer that was in the final cut of the movie. In fact, I would specifically shoot scenes to be used just for the sole purpose of making a trailer. And if they wound up great, I would still leave them in the trailer. I consider it a rip-off otherwise. I paid about 20 bucks to see this movie (tix and snacks) and I want to see something I haven't seen before. Then you say, "But if they don't show clips from the movie in the trailer, then how will they get people to see the movie?" Oh puh-leeze.

Gimme a frickin' break. How did Hollywood get the stupid idea to do this? Boggles the mind. A trailer shouldn't be a collection of good scenes, no, it should be an "intro" that introduces (hence the name) all or at least the majority of the major characters. It should never include anything that is in the movie. That really insults the audience. Why would any filmmaker want to show the good scenes over and over again in the trailer? Is there some rule about laughing in movie theaters? Why must we be forced to laugh in our living rooms? Dammit, I want to see it for the first time on a bigger screen! Is this the reason why I disliked the movie? No. All movie trailers do this...with the exception of a rare few. No, I dislike this movie because it was just unfunny, and the only funny scene that was in it was shown to death in the trailers. So yeah, I guess this is why I dislike this movie.

The Plot. Not much, but it's about Pistachio Disguisey, played by Dana Carvey. That should be a big friggin stop sign right there. Honestly, who names their son "Pistachio"? That's just nutty. So Pistachio's parents get kidnapped, and before anybody else besides Pistachio finds out, his grandfather shows up and knows about what happened. Which is kinda confusing at first, because earlier in the movie, I swear that in the first scene, the guy playing his father is said to be his grandfather, then later he's Pistachio's father. Oi vei.

The disguises were kinda funny, but I kept wanting to see more elaborate ones. You know, where it's not just Dana Carvey in a funny outfit, making funny voices and all? Maybe take a completely different person and have the audience think that is Pistachio? No? I guess that's too much to ask. No, it's not. They did this with Pistachio's father and grandfather, but never did it with Pistachio, not even when he got good at disguises.

Overall, I was disappointed with this movie. It seemed like Carvey was trying to hard to be funny instead of just being natural, like his characters on SNL and in movies such as "Trapped in Paradise". The writing was tired and uninspired. Not to mention repetitive. C'mon, if the bad guy routinely farts at the same time, it gets predictable and UNFUNNY! This isn't rocket science people. But kids will like this, but adults should be bored...unless their brain-dead. Ah, brain-dead adults...kinda like Steve Dannuzio....lol

-- James ( 1 1/2 out of 4 pops )

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Matt ( 1 1/2 out of 4 pops )

Dana Carvey is a talented comedian, with a great knack for impressionism. He had a great run on SNL, spawning such memorable characters as Garth Algar and Church Lady. As a matter of fact, I used to think he was hilarious and I always looked forward to his appearances on "The Tonight Show" and "Conan O'Brien." I don't know whether his humor ran dry or he's just not funny anymore. In this lackluster comedy, Dana plays Pistachio Disguisey. He's an Italian-born waiter, whose family has a hidden secret: they're all masters of disguise. His father (James Brolin) decided never to let his son know this secret. That is until his father gets kidnapped by a fiendish antiques thief (Brent Spiner), who uses the father's talent for snagging many historical artifacts like The Liberty Bell and The Constitution. That's when his grandfather (Harold Gould) lets out the family secret and trains his grandson to become a master of disguise and rescue his father. This is all a cheap ploy to have Dana flaunt his knack for impressionism and transform into many quirky characters (almost none of them funny). The problem with him is not that he can't do impressions; he just doesn't know where to go with them. On SNL, when he would do his famous Ross Perot impression, he knew where to go with it. Maybe it's because he worked with a team of writers, whereas this time he co-wrote the script. I don't know what else to say, other than the humor is limp and downright silly. This is the kind of humor that can only appeal to youngest of youngsters. In one scene, Dana learns to fight by slapping people in the face and saying, "Who's your Daddy?" Just when did people say, "Who's your Daddy?" when slapping people in the face? And there's a running gag involving Spiner laughing maniacally and suddenly farting. Again, how is this funny? There are some mildly amusing moments and I did get a few chuckles, but overall this is a childish bore. If you think this film looks ridiculous in the previews, then wait 'til you see the film itself. If you look up the word "ridiculous" in the dictionary, you'll see a screen shot of "Master of Disguise" right next to it. Well, at least I got to ogle the beautiful Jennifer Esposito, who by the way has a totally thankless role. She gave up "Spin City" for this?